The Spiritually F*cked Podcast!

31. Why I ghosted everyone for two months

Taylor shares what happened after taking 2 months to completely disconnect from the world, after her trip to india fell through. 
No social media, no friends, no work… Just herself and her tonights (YIKES).
What she found was a radical return to herself. And she’s here to share it all:
How connections can act as distractions
What happens when you put your life/trust in others hands
The true gift of silence
Abandonment anyone?
Returning to yourself… Because why else are we here?
This episode explores what happens not only when you choose silence, but when you choose yourself. When you stop reaching outward and begin listening inward.
YAY.
WE ADORE YOU!!! 
 
~
 
Connects!
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespirituallyfckedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/taylormvlholland/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpirituallyFckedPodcast
tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maylorgangordie
website: https://sadflowerswritten.com
podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spiritually-f-cked-podcast/id1829193477
substack - https://substack.com/@sadflowerswritten 
Intuitive Guided Mentorship with me - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-guided-mentorships

30. The closing of a chapter: Four years, a thousand versions of me + the cyclical nature of life

In this epi, Taylor reflects on the closing of a chapter that held so much of her becoming.
It’s been 4 years in the home that marked the beginning of her life in Boulder… to now preparing to leave it. (The house, not boulder - lol) What once felt like a beginning is now asking to be honored as an ending.
We talk about the bittersweet nature of change and the beauty of this cyclical life. How some things are meant to be lived fully, and then released. Enjoyed in every moment.
Let this message be an invitation to be present with your life as it is now. To recognize that even the moments you wish you could hold onto forever are temporary… and that’s what makes them sacred.
Because this life, this version of you, this chapter is just a blip in eternity.
And maybe that’s exactly why it matters so much.
Thanks for being here <3
~
Connects!
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespirituallyfckedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/taylormvlholland/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpirituallyFckedPodcast
tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maylorgangordie
website: https://sadflowerswritten.com
podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spiritually-f-cked-podcast/id1829193477
substack - https://substack.com/@sadflowerswritten 
Intuitive Guided Mentorship with me - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-guided-mentorships

29. Subconscious healing, rewiring your mind & being human: Heart led yap with Lilly @ Home to Self Podcast

Another heart led yap with Taylor’s Boulder bestie Lilly from Home to Self Podcast!!
This epi feels like sitting on the floor with your best friend, realizing… you’re not crazy, you’re just human.
Lilly is a subconscious healing coach and founder of Home to Self. Taylor sits down and interviews her to talk about what it actually means to come back to yourself.
We go deep into the patterns that quietly run our lives: people pleasing, fear of abandonment, overthinking, needing to prove our worth, and how so much of it isn’t “who we are,” but what we learned to believe.
Lilly shares her journey from obsessive health + control into subconscious healing, and how the real shift didn’t come from doing more but from looking within.
We yap:
Why your brain is wired to keep you safe (not fulfilled)
How subconscious beliefs shape your relationships, identity and reality
The hidden root of people pleasing (and why it’s not your fault)
What it actually means to “rewire” a pattern
The difference between intuition vs. fear
Why overthinking is really under-feeling
How to work with your mind instead of against it
The balance between doing the work… and actually living your life
Host reminder: Healing isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about remembering who you were before you learned you weren’t enough.
“You are both a masterpiece and a work in progress… at the same time.” - Lilly 
Lilly links:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lillymterry/
Home program: https://home-program.info/
Home to Self Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/077MdAVa2izkqWuMQUJBsR
 
~
 
Connects!
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespirituallyfckedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/taylormvlholland/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpirituallyFckedPodcast
tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maylorgangordie
website: https://sadflowerswritten.com
podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spiritually-f-cked-podcast/id1829193477
substack - https://substack.com/@sadflowerswritten 
Intuitive Guided Mentorship with me - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-guided-mentorships
 

28. STAR WEATHER REPORT - The planets in April

Welcome to the new series! Star weather report - Where we break down what’s happening in the sky and what that means in your life! YAY! 
Aries season brings a powerful PUNCH into our passions. We chit chat all about the new identity our hearts are calling us to step into and what this energy means in your life.
Kicking off April is the full moon in libra, with the invitation to return to the relationship with your inner child.
Chiron in aries anyone? The wounded healer comes through with a message from your past.
We go into the delicious aspects of sensual venus in taurus and what this means in your love and relationships. 
We tap on mercury, mars and the way these two planets influence how you communicate and move through the world.
What better season to build trust in your self than aries season? 
This epi explores the energetic blueprint of April and how to move with the planets… not against it.
A message from your favorite astrologer: Take what you like and leave the rest. April brings some powerful shifts, how are you implementing?
WE ADORE YOU! AND ALL YOUR ASPECTS!!!
Thanks for being here.
 
~
 
Connects!
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespirituallyfckedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/taylormvlholland/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpirituallyFckedPodcast
tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maylorgangordie
website: https://sadflowerswritten.com
podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spiritually-f-cked-podcast/id1829193477
substack - https://substack.com/@sadflowerswritten 
Intuitive Guided Mentorship with me - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-guided-mentorships
 
 

27. Astrology, intuition & self-trust: Heart-led yap with Lilly @ Home to Self Podcast

In this epi, Taylor sits down with her Boulder bestie Lilly from Home to Self Podcast to explore how astrology can help us understand our patterns, reconnect with our intuition, and step into a new identity rooted in self-trust.
We move into deeper conversations around self-abandonment, subconscious conditioning, reparenting the inner child and what it actually looks like to trust yourself in everyday decisions. This episode is a reminder that real change happens when we stop outsourcing answers and start coming home to ourselves.
Topics covered:
What the current astrology is activating collectively
Why intuition is the most important tool right now
The difference between intellectual insight vs embodied change
Learning to stop outsourcing answers to other people
Releasing self-abandonment and people-pleasing patterns
Discovering what you actually want vs what conditioning told you to want
Fear of embarrassment, rejection, and being seen
Reparenting yourself with compassion
Sovereignty and the power of choice
This episode goes pretty deep… but also comes with mad sense of humor and poetic lightness that will reconnect you back into your heart.
WE ADORE YOU!! Thanks for being here fam.
Ways to work with Lilly: 
Here HOME program: https://home-program.info 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lillymterry/%E2%81%A0 
 
~
 
Connects!
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespirituallyfckedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/taylormvlholland/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpirituallyFckedPodcast
tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maylorgangordie
website: https://sadflowerswritten.com
podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spiritually-f-cked-podcast/id1829193477
substack - https://substack.com/@sadflowerswritten 
Intuitive Guided Mentorship with me - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-guided-mentorships

26. Let me reintroduce myself… Hi, I’m back!!!

“So I actually didn’t go to India…” 
After a two month hiatus, Taylor shares where she’s been, the intentions behind it and why she never actually made it to India. (she really did try though!!)
Let this episode be a silent return to yourself… (cough cough #silence), and an opportunity to land back into presence. 
We talk about the power behind intention, the truth about bridging trust with yourself and the depth that happens when you reconnect with your spirit team. Taylor also shares what’s coming to the surface in her next ‘soul coming.’
If you’ve been looking for a podcast during those “trust fall” seasons… let this be the episode for you.
Hopefully you didn’t unfollow us during the silence… and if you’re still here, thank you. We’re so happy to have you.
Welcome back to Spiritually F*cked. 
We adore you.
xx, 
Taylor
 
~
 
podcast links 
 
Connects!
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespirituallyfckedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/taylormvlholland/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpirituallyFckedPodcast
tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maylorgangordie
website: https://sadflowerswritten.com
podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spiritually-f-cked-podcast/id1829193477
substack - https://substack.com/@sadflowerswritten 
Intuitive Guided Mentorship with me - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-guided-mentorships

25. A look inside the unleash your inner muse workshop: Mirror medicine & emotional alchemy

Here is a snippet from Taylor's - unleash your inner muse - workshop where we explore "we're all just a mirror medicine" — the idea that what we encounter in others is reflecting something within ourselves, inviting deeper awareness rather than judgment.
We also unpack why “letting go” is so often misunderstood, and how it can become a form of spiritual bypassing when it’s used to avoid feeling, processing, or being with what’s actually present.
This episode explores:
The low down on the workshop itself
Why triggers are invitations, not obstacles
How reflection becomes medicine when met with honesty
The difference between true release and emotional avoidance
What it means to alchemize emotion instead of transcending it
If you’ve been trying to heal by overriding your feelings or rushing toward detachment, this conversation offers a more embodied, compassionate path back to yourself.
We adore you, muse.
;)
 
For the full workshop: https://sadflowerswritten.com/products/unleash-your-inner-muse-%E2%9C%A8
~
 
Connects!
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespirituallyfckedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/taylormvlholland/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpirituallyFckedPodcast
tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maylorgangordie
website: https://sadflowerswritten.com
podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spiritually-f-cked-podcast/id1829193477
substack - https://substack.com/@sadflowerswritten 
Intuitive Guided Mentorship with me - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-guided-mentorships

24. When Spiritually F*cked meets Spiritualfxckboy: A conversation with my cosmic twin

A good day for astrology hey?
What If the Most Spiritual Thing You Could Do… Is Stop Trying to Look Spiritual at All?
In this epi, I sit down with Ben Duffy for a raw, expansive, and surprisingly obviously hilarious conversation about authenticity, ego, emptiness, pain, devotion — and what it actually means to come home to yourself.
What starts as a trippy synchronicity (same birthday, same year, eerily similar charts, and almost the same podcast name) opens into a deep exploration of dark nights of the soul, lineage healing, embodiment, and why humor might be one of the most sacred tools we have. (cough cough... it is)
We talk about performative spirituality, rigid identities, and the quiet violence of constantly trying to fix yourself. About grief, devotion, heartbreak, art — and the freedom that comes when you stop abandoning yourself in the name of “healing.”
This episode is a love letter to your expression.To feeling instead of performing.To staying loyal to yourself — even when it’s messy.
A reflection on devotion, heartbreak, art, and the freedom that comes when you stop abandoning yourself in the name of healing.
We Explore:
Performative spirituality vs. lived truth
Emptiness, non-duality, and the freedom of groundlessness
Dark nights of the soul, depression, and surrender
Grief, pain, and the alchemy that turns heartbreak into art
Ego, shadow, and integration over “ego death”
Embodiment, feminine lineage healing, and the body as teacher
Devotion, ritual, prayer, humor — and not taking life so seriously
Integrity, right livelihood, and choosing a soul-aligned life
WE ADORE YOU FAM!!!
For more Ben: 
instagram: duffdaddy100 & spiritualfxckboy
spotifty: spiritualyfxckboy 
https://benjamenduffy.com/
 
~
 
Connects!
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespirituallyfckedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/taylormvlholland/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpirituallyFckedPodcast
tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maylorgangordie
website: https://sadflowerswritten.com
podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spiritually-f-cked-podcast/id1829193477
substack - https://substack.com/@sadflowerswritten 
Intuitive Guided Mentorship with me - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-guided-mentorships

23. Me roasting my own astrology chart - my birthchart explained *yikes*

Roast anyone???
This episode is a live chart read (or live roast) of Taylor’s astrology chart. What starts as a honest self-examination (drag lol) turns into real-time interpretation, intuitive hits, and pattern recognition that feels a little too accurate. It moves between humor and depth, offering a candid look at how an astrology chart actually reads when you stop being polite about it.
If you’ve ever felt personally victimized by astrology — or curious about what your own chart might reveal — you’ll probably recognize something here.
WE ADORE YOU!! And all your placements... ;)
 
To book an intuitive reading - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-astrology-sessions or email sadflowerswritten@gmail.com
 
~
 
Connects!
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespirituallyfckedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/taylormvlholland/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpirituallyFckedPodcast
tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maylorgangordie
website: https://sadflowerswritten.com
podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spiritually-f-cked-podcast/id1829193477
substack - https://substack.com/@sadflowerswritten 
Intuitive Guided Mentorship with me - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-guided-mentorships

22. The Joe Dispenza experience: coherence, commitment and yes this is definitely a cult

"Sorry can't get to the phone right now I'm at Joe Dispenza..."
In this epi Taylor shares how she found her way into daddy Joe Dispenza’s work and how it became one of the catalysts that changed her life. She spills the low down on attending three of his retreats, what actually happens in the rooms people love to speculate about, and how his teachings around coherence, meditation, and commitment reshaped her entire relationship to living life.
We explore what it really means to take responsibility for your inner state, how the body responds when the mind changes (embodiment helloooo), and why consistency—not bypassing—is the work. 
Call it a cult? We call it devotion... And we want to be apart of this cult.
This isn’t a sales pitch or blind praise. It’s a firsthand reflection on learning how to heal yourself, meet your edge, and stay committed to that higher frequency. Because no one is coming to save you - so you better buckle up and take ownership of your life.
Taylor also gives a mini update on her life: what's brewing for her in the next few months and the intentions she's stepping into. (You don't want to miss this).
 
~
 
Connects!
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thespirituallyfckedpodcast/
https://www.instagram.com/taylormvlholland/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSpirituallyFckedPodcast
tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maylorgangordie
website: https://sadflowerswritten.com
podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-spiritually-f-cked-podcast/id1829193477
substack - https://substack.com/@sadflowerswritten 
Intuitive Guided Mentorship with me - https://sadflowerswritten.com/blogs/news/intuitive-guided-mentorships